Pointless Rambles

Dear Guru,

Where do I start. Hmm. I guess it's been awhile since we actually talked. and judging from the current situation I doubt this time span of non-communication will stop. I won't lie, I am quite tired, and the reasons for staying up aren't just belly discomforts.

To be honest I really don't quite know what I'm about to say, so I'm just going to start blabbering one thing at a time. So here goes.

Hey! I thought we were buddies, bro's, homies, the awesome pair. Doesn't really seem so now, at all. At which point did it all start crashing down? This ignorance it seems, this awkwardness. I mean it all started 2 years ago I guess.

I don't quite remember how I met you, but I knew you were a freagin cool person. I remember us webcamming showing our houses around, for one thing. Talking shit every single night on MSN without failure. About our day, about the shit we would wanna do when we grow up. About just about everything. Then we became really close.

Even back last year when you really became a huge part of me. Because of you I.. started taking note of what I wore, what I look like. My language, the way I approach things, well everything. Its a fact that without you I don't think I'd have done shit with myself. Last year I kind of became quite rebellious, as you so often remind me in the past. How I lost my coolness, and started acting in with the pack. How I used to be this big brother of yours, that everyone could count on to give advice, share things with and cheer you up.

I still am. Dude I'd do freagin anything for you my friend. Even grudgingly stay up till 4 to catch the premier of your favourite idol's new music video. Which brings me to another point. The reason I am here typing this crap is also because you taught me to live the best out of what I've got, even if it means staying up late as fuck to do something that you really like. Which is somewhat the reason for my deepening eyebags and drowsy mood in school. But I really don't regret it. Losing that 3 or 4 cm for my height? Fuck it man. I'll just jump more. If things were the same as before I'd probably be pestering you to get online at this time and hear me talk shit about the shit we actually do talk about. And I'm sure you'll like to blabber on about this new hot guy you've seen in the movies, and I'll say no one's a match for Miss Johansson. Still.

Remember how we used to go shopping? Dude, you were my love guru and I was your money manager. Fair enough you taught me well but I haven't done my part of the deal. I'm keeping my stand that you have too many stuff in your wadrobe that's wearable but you don't, though. It was really fun man, found my extremely tight paramore shirt by the way. Not my point.

Concerts, I couldn't care less to be honest. You can't go then screw it, if I cared that much about the concert I would have went myself anyway. The point was to spend more time together you know? We're both in different classes now and the likelihood is that we're not going to see each other as often. Which is kind of the reason I was so insistent in going. The moment I think of going to a concert, the first person to spring to my mind would be you and how a great freagin time it would be if we went together.

Corny as it sounds, and you know me well man.. I miss you. I really do.

So dude, I know we've argued many a times before and ended up being cool again, but if you are going to ignore me, tell me why at least?

Because I'm confused. I don't even know if there's a problem between us, or you're just feeling all emotional. If its the form, let us sort it out?

If its the latter then dude, I'm always here for you. In the morning, afternoon, evening, midnight, whatever man. Just give me a call or a text and I can help if not, at least there's someone to share your pain with.

And uh, hah. Guru, I've got so much to update you on. Please check back.

-Renald